Saturday, August 9, 2014

Who Are You?

Every summer consists of one of those quintessential summer vacations. They typically consist of trips to the beach, trips to Florida, trip abroad, etc.  Mine and Josh's summer consisted of not one trip, but two!  First we travelled to Florida and experienced all of the wonders of Walt Disney World.  This was not a vacation though, as Josh is quick to point out.  Florida was an experience!  Our second trip?  The beach!!!  Believe you me, it was indeed everything a vacation could have ever wished to be.  Our first day there was a little rainy with rough waters, but our second day was the closest thing to paradise I think we could have asked for.  Blue skies, blue-green water, white-ish sands, everything South Carolina beaches have to offer and more!  

This is the view walking from the beach clubhouse to the ocean!
One of my favorite things to do at the beach is to set up my beach chair right next to my mom, and talk.  If you know me personally, you know I am the queen of "Death by Talking."  Hence the reason for a blog - half of you never knew I could write too (Oh no!  Two word-y outlets!)!  My mom and I talk about almost everything.  We just talk.  We talk about boys/men/boys-who-think-they-are-men.  And we talk about life.  Life as it is.  I mean, there are 28 years between my mom and I, but some days, it feels like so much less time.  One of the things we talked about at the beach was how old I am getting.  Seriously!  Neither of us can believe that I am turning 24 in September and I will be 25 next year when Josh and I get married.  To me, that seems so old, and I don't think I feel that old.  As we were talking about age, my mom said something that really struck me.  She said that 24 is an age where you know who you are, and you are trying to change it.  She said 52 (her age) is an age where you know who you are, and you don't care what people think about it.  At first, I was a little put off - I mean, I am who I am and I am quite proud of that.  Then I took a step back, and thought about it.  
I know who I am, but I am trying to tweak things about me.  For example, I want to be more neat and organized.  Truth is: I am not neat or organized.  I actually cried the other night to Josh about how it upset me so that I can not seem to stay on top of the mess I create.  I CRIED ABOUT IT!!  I am working hard to change that, but maybe I am looking at it wrong.  Maybe it is not me I need to change - maybe it is my attitude toward cleaning.  Anyway - side note.  Another thing I am trying to edit is my blogging.  I created a beautiful website, and then jumped to Blogger to begin the journey again.  I wish, wish, wish my pictures were light and beautiful but the truth is, they are like me.  When I was 13, I decided I didn't want to be a brunette anymore.  I wanted to dye my hair blond, like platinum blond.  So I did.  And I kept dying my hair blond for years and years and years.  Then, about four years ago, I had boy troubles and decided to do something drastic to my hair.  I dyed it brown!  Deep brown!  Turns out it was actually my natural color and I didn't know (of course as many times as I dyed my hair, I figured I was probably gray-headed)!  I loved it!  I personally believe that I am a totally dark beauty, but that is just me.  Point is - I was trying to change something that turned out to be second rate to the real thing.  
Josh is putting my sunhat on and making me look silly!
I think Josh looks more silly in my hat than I do!  Good thing I love him!
What does this have to do with the beach?  Absolute nothing!!  This was a moment in my life, and it just happened to occur at the beach, and sense a brain-scan is not a good picture, I decided beach pictures were!  :)

The view off the pier in Garden City, SC!
I am not always going to feel like I am something that I don't want to be, but I have to make the steps to get there.  I have to be more proactive in accepting myself for what I am and also what I am not.  I am not neat.  I am not timely.  I am not always sure of what is going on around me, and I tend to hide behind Josh and his in-your-face personality when I get nervous.  I am not wild.  And that is okay.  I am me.  I make large messes appear out of thin air.  I have such good intentions to be on time.  I plan to write a blog post everyday, it just doesn't happen that way.  I am me.  I might be 28 years away from being 52, but maybe I should act like I am 52 now.  After all, I am who I am!

Our vacation was perfectly imperfect.  I created such a big mess that my sister couldn't even get into the closet on my side of the room.  Josh got burnt like nobody's business.  I found a beautiful whole sand dollar that just dried out and cracked for no reason.  We had a magnificent time, and that is really all that matters.  But BONUS!  I caught up on some much needed sleep!!!! 

How is your summer treating you?  Do you agree with being happy with who you are, or do you wish you could change some things?  Like I said, let me know!


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